Whatev

So my basketball team is 2-1. = AWESOME.
I'm loving basketball right now. It is so much better than last year.
But the JV isn't doing so hot. Their coach seems to be kinda..silly a lot of the time.
Not Larry and Veggie Tales silly. A different kind of silly. Hope we beat Wav on friday.
School is good too. I have a super high A in Chemistry. And i should def. have a high A in every other class too. Yay.
Can't wait for Christmas.
I need to get buying those presents.

Oh and the CYA party was terrible. Except for the part where I got a paint gun. How cool is that?

Basketball

The tournament today was super fun. I'm really glad I decided to play this year. I'm definitely getting along with my team way better.
My brother is being dumb and readin gover my shoulder he annoys the crap out of me like all of the time. I'm super tired. I can't wait for this next weekend. I can't wait to see Jodi at Lifeteen tomorrow!

Blah

I don't have much to say
My 2 inch AD binder is overflowing
crap

Everything

Soo Cross Country ended two weeks ago.
This season was pretty much a failure for me. I don't know why
I tell people its the addition of parts to my body. But sometimes I don't believe it even though I honestly tried so much harder this year. Maybe I just don't know how to work hard. I always look down on people that I think could be so much better if they tried. I wonder who looks down on me.

Basketball
I've been trying to decide whether to play or not
Honestly I don't really believe that that is what I'm trying to decide. Why wouldn't I want to play basketball. That has always been my favorite sport ...but now... I can't really stand most of the team. We just don't agree....see I'm being an arrogant jerk again.. oh well
but today at open gym.. I decided I really do love basketball. I will just have to work extra hard to make sure that no one can take that away from me.

Academic Decathlon.
I'm really not jealous of the California teams who spend their whole lives on AD.. I mean ordering their stuff even during the summer. I woudln't be able to stand it for that long. But I'm definitely more on top of things and wayy more understanding than last year.. i mean by a ridiculous amount I KNOW my speech will be miles better. I'm lookign forward to going to nationals...arrogance again..it happens against Everret and Sexton. I also really hope we will get to go se a real state competition.. and only compete if we win. Because without nationals Academic Decathlon would not be cool for me.. except the people.. its fun... who knew studying was fun..

REACT
So because I went to DYLC, I'm supposed to be a leader and crap. But what does that mean?
I always feel stupid when I'm talking in front of the people at youth group.. like I'm a loser nerd or something..which obviously I am from the above paragraph.. Shirley.. I mean mrs. cain. was mad at me at Jamboree for not getting the evaluations when I knew she was busy.. how the heck was I supposed to know what she was doing. It wasn't one of those things where the group stayed together the whole time...
But jamboree was way fun..even though i was super dee duperty tired...during two of the breaks Karmen and I just found a spot on the ground and fell asleep..
I suck at picking workshops... last year at YES I got pretty much nothing out of the workshops..
this year at Jamboree, the workshops were not very helpful either.. just stuff I already knew..
I suppose the "My Face Space Book" one was pretty good..I'll be more evangelistic online....i guess..

CYA
is amazing
I love small groups
even though last one didn't help
all we did pretty much was talk about the
bad aspects of community... but thursdays are definitely
definitely my favorite days of the week...i would die without them..

School
is ok
I decided that I actually like all my classes, even the ones I hate..
luckily the most boring ones are the ones where I have friends that I only see in that class..
so that takes some of the boredom out..
I can't believe I turned down a chance to get out of mr. Dawsons class today...
but i would have had to have a different spanish hour.. adn thats the only time i see
laura, rachel and indiya, i will not leave that classs...

election tomorrow
I don't know..
I seriously don't want Barack Obama to be president
but then.. i want to see what he can do I want to see what will happen..
what i'm most afraid of is the FOCA which will

invalidate every restriction on the abortion of a fetus before the stage of viability, even those previously found consistent with Roe v. Wade by the United States Supreme Court, such as parental notification laws, waiting periods, requirements of full disclosure of the physical and emotional risks inherent in abortion, or restrictions on certain late-term abortion techniques

that blurb was from wikipedia..haha
seriously this takes way the "good" things about abortion
maybe barack obama wants there to be an abortion business
where people (cough planned parenthood) will be trying to make profit of of abortion..

yup
that was long..
i feel better.

Band

I have a race on saturday
a big one, I'm very excited.
Unfortunately I should also have a sectional then. But I asked if the sectional could be moved so that I could go, because I haven't gone to like 10 sectionals and I'm tired of missing them. I think I care too much about band. So that would be fine except for the part where Amy and Rachel and ..like most of my friends; we were all going to tie-dye shirts purple for color day becuase nobody has purple shirts. Ugh
Either Amy has gymnastics or I have youth group.. or cross country.
Ugh

Cross-Country

Have you ever been totally frustrate by something that you used to love. Maybe its the reason you love it because its a challenge. I loved it because I was good at it. But now I'm slower. I've slowed down. Maybe I'll keep getting slower. How can someone that doesn't even practice get faster every race when I get slower. How can I feel great and run slower than when I feel like crap. Maybe thats why I felt like crap. But it was only 8 seconds faster. So maybe I should run so fast I feel like crap. But then would I like cross- country. Would I still like it if it made me feel like crap, but then I'm fast. I just don't like being second best. I don't like being glad that we didn't get beat "that bad" I want to be on a team that doesn't get beat that bad. I want to be on a team that either barely gets beat or else wins. Sometimes I wish I was a freshman. Everything was new, and it didn't matter if i was good or not because I was just a freshman. Now I'm a sophomore that had a great freshman year. I have to be better or I'm the girl people talk about who used to be good and who had potential. I want to be good. I miss the competitiveness I used to be. I used to do things straight from the heart. Now I think too much. I worry. I conserve my energy. It doesn't work for me. I just want to be good again. I want to be able to fix my problems just like that. I want to be able ot have all the answers. I want to go to sleep. I want to be in the top of my classes. I don't want to work hard. I want to make everyone happy. I want to be happy. I want to have a good relationship with God, and my family. I want so many things. I want to shut up.